- Anti Joke

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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