How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Hello

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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