Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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A sober Irish individual.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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