What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This is the concept of anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops