What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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Choir.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops