Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops