Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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hello anomonous

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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