a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

Facebook How i met my mother

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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