Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

i like it in the mouth

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

Facebook How i met my mother

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

Ebola

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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