What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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