knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

how did the ant die? i stepped on it

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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