Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Stealth baseballs record

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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