How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops