Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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womens rights

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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