- Anti Joke

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops