What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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69

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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ur gey

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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