Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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