So does Blake

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Once upon a time, The end.

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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