Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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eh

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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