What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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good looking women

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Paper shield.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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