A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

Jellybeans

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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