Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock whos their a person

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

mark is religion

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops