What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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