Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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