A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

the WNBA

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

for keeps?

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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