"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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My name is Jeff

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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