We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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My Nan, that is all.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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David Cameron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops