A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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