How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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69

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Women's Rights

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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