What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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poop

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops