a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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