A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops