What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops