How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

Homosexualism is so gay man

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

mental kid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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