Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Cool Brian

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops