Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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