What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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9/11

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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children burning

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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