Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's brown and sticky A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops