How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

womens rights.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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