Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops