What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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