Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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