What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops