man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops