What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

Y u do dis?

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...