What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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Hi

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops