What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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