knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops