How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops