It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops