If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Women's rights...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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say cheese

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops