why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops