Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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I walk into a bar...

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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where's mom I killed her

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops