When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -8

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops