Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Wenis Penis

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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